July 2006 Archives

British troops on LSD is geat. You have to watch this.
"He himself then relapsed into laughter."

It's probably a photoshop image, but it's still pretty awesome.
Mark my words, this time next year, all the gangster rappers will be sportin these bad boys.

Finally someone is standing up to the MPAA lawsuits.
We have a new hero of the week.

What Would Don Giovanni Do?
That's my new phrase after seeing the Opera "Don Giovanni" (that's a major name-drop right there. Yes I go to the Opera, but only because it makes me smarter and better than people who don't.)
In case you haven't been to the Opera lately (I'm looking at you Josh) Don Giovanni would have sex and then unrepentantly kill whoever got in his way.
That's what he'd do.

It's not that I'm "not welcome" as much as "not allowed."
In any of them apparently, though I find it hard to believe that they can enforce that in any sort of reasonable fashion. Are they gong to fax an Olive Garden APB around the country? Good luck.
I won't go into the details suffice to say that I now understand that the Bottomless Salad bowl is a privlege not a right.
A privlege I have been informed I no longer have.
Some people have no sense of humor. Specifically Olive Garden managers.
I'll tell you what, this whole thing has tones of the my problems with Wild Oates Natural Foods Market.
Ask one dirty hippie working in the Granola Aisle "Can I smoke in here" and all of a sudden I'm not allowed in Wild Oates anymore?
What kind of world are we living in?

This guy hates Olive Garden more than me.
Actually, maybe this guy hates it the most.
I think I touched on a deep cultural nerve here.

And they wrote a song about you.

It feels good.
Make your own.

If anybody reads this site on any sort of regular basis you may (or may not) have noticed that I have been posting erratically for the last few months.
That's because I took a position that required too much of my time to do ANYTHING at all in the rest of my life. Including posting here.
And for that I apologize.
But the good news is: I quit.
Nothing fancy, just a good old-fashioned "take this job and shove it up your ass" kinda thing.
I thought it might be in my benefit to acept this salaried and insuranced position to advance my career. One week into my salary days and I found myself working 12-hour days, six days a week. That is sucks.
I gave it the college try and stuck it out for 2 months, but I realized that I couldn't do it and I resigned.
So I'm back!
And guess what my first order of business is?
That's right getting super-stoned and watching every episode of south park on this completely illegal and yet somehow still running website. (enjoy it while it lasts.)
Well, maybe I'll just have a beer and only watch a few choice episodes I haven't seen in a while.
Who knows, the world is my oyster right now. I'm born-again jobless!

Somebody took the time to give us a collection of pictures showing the president giving the rock-out/hail-satan hand gesture.

Stolen? Or Liberated?
You decide.
Actually, when you think about it, how many knock-off, RC Cola-wannabee colas are out there imitating coke, but JUST BARELY not getting something right?
I know it doesn't seem hard to make coke, but Nobody Can!
Strange.
I've been watching way too much "Lost" on DVD as you can plainly see.

Completely off the subject, a misspelling (that I have since corrected) in the above post gave me an idea for a slogan for slacker/hipster terrorists:

"Jihad is jhard"

On March 30, Minnesota Timberwolves center Eddie Griffin was drunk and masturbating when he crashed his luxury SUV into a parked Suburban outside a store in Minneapolis, according to a lawsuit filed Thursday by the man whose Suburban was hit in the crash.

I was so flippant to report "No News on Hasselhoff" last week, and now this happens:

Star hits head on chandelier, cuts arm on glass

David Hasselhoff may be hurt!

By a chandelier!

Wait a second. He got hurt on a chandelier in a bathroom?

I guess David Hasselhoff and I do not shop in the same bathrooms.

Glaring error in the story: He was in the process of shaving his nipples when the whole thing went down.
I call it like I see it folks.